11. Bible verse
You’re fucking kidding me?
I haven’t opened that thing in seriousness since I was in grade 6. I’ve flipped through it during boring weddings and funerals and that’s about it. Nothing memorable.
So I’m going to make up my own:
“And lo, the people gathered around the glowing dumpster to find the swaddled form of Carbuncle Jim. And Carbuncle Jim did say unto them: ‘Fuck off! Get away from my God damned dumpster!’ And yea verily, the people did move back.” – Book of Shantilly, Chapter 4, Vs 3
“Donna held the coupon of 2 for 1 ribs and ripped it in two. She gave one half to her sneaky friend and thus did they provide their unintelligent server with two, 2 for 1 rib coupons. And verily did they lie, saying that their two coupons were actually whole coupons. And like a miracle, the server did give them 4 plates.” – Book of Thieves, Chapter 2, Vs 4
“Thou shall not use the word “then” as a measurement of choice. It is a measurement of time.” – Book of Grammar Nazi, Chapter 4, Vs 21
“Vincent did come upon a man lying prostate and in repose. Seconds later Vincent was arrested for an indecent act.” – Great Big Book of Sex
3 thoughts on “Challenge #11 – Bible Verse”
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“In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Boystown, I will fear no Drag Queen, for Thor is with me. His 6″ stiletto combat boots, they comfort me. He preparest a martini for me in the presence of some Bears, but he hasn’t paying attention when he poured, my glass runneth over.
-Book of the Prophet Panda Chapter VII, Verse 2.