Garage Sale Update

Toronto, You Magnificent Bastard 3 Replies

The Whore of Tatooine

How did our garage sale go, you ask?

Awesomely! Thanks!

The day started out a bit frantic: most sales were already in full swing at 9am and poor postbear is NOT a morning person at all. Because 90% of the stuff we were selling was donated to us (proceeds to PWA Toronto), unpacking was a bit of a mystery grab bag Xmas fun-time show. When we started to set up at 930ish people were hanging off the front yard fence to get in and if I, or SharkBoy unboxed something cool, we’d let out a girly squeal, prompting the human tide at the gates to swell.

“How much for that … Melamite (?) dish there… the purple one?” a woman asked, leaning across the fence, pointing her sausage-y fingers at a set of plastic plates.

“You mean the Marmite dishes?”

“Yes. Marmite,” she says, confident that I provided her with the correct pronunciation and utterly proving to me she was confusing her knowledge of post-war industrial dishware with Australian yeast-based foodstuffs.

“Oh. It’s Melmac!” I say, laughing in my head.

So it went. The day was not without it’s crazies, like the woman who demanded to see if the rice cooker was working (It was) and made a big fuss because we didn’t have an electrical outlet or the guy disgusted that we asked $3 for 3 DVDs (dude… charity??). However, I missed most of them since I was in my trooper suit drumming up change for my AIDS Walk (go donate!).

Nearer to the middle of the day I was standing out in front of the house drumming up business for our sale, when a sleek Audi pulls up beside me with a child in the back seat. I did my standard “two fingers pointing at my eyes, one finger pointing at the kid” in a pantomimed “I’m watching you” kind of thing. The kid smiled like it was Xmas. The passenger side window rolls down and the driver leans across.

“You the ‘Trooper?”

I resist making a stupid come-back like No, he’s down the street, I’m the space princess. “That’s me!” I say. I was impressed that someone actually read our signs.

He thrusts a couple bills at me – with my limited sight I think it was a $10 and a $5, but I was more surprised than accountant.

At that moment I realized I was leaning into an expensive car to take money from the driver. I felt like a street walker. But I was gobsmacked and happy. To you, sir, THANK YOU!

Later, TomWDart (who took this post’s most excellent picture) came by. His first words to me were “Any excuse to put on the suit, right?” And dubbed me “The Whore of Tatooine” which I think I will get put on a t-shirt sometime in the near future.

In the end, the sale pulled in $500+ and my change-for-photo bucket had $111 in it for my AIDS Walk (go donate!)

A very good day!

3 thoughts on “Garage Sale Update

  1. Tom Dart

    I did, in fact, say “any excuse to put on the suit.” I did not call you the whore of tatooine. Well at least I did not on this occasion call you a whore from tatooine or any other planet of the empire. I was possibly thinking of calling you a whore. Possibly not. I refuse to confirm my whole-whore-tatooine thought process. I’m guessing that it was postbear that called you the whore of tatooine. Though I could see how you would get us confused. Tatooine Whore. Also, I’m presently trying to increase your google ranking higher for “tatooine whore”. Every click counts, right? Tatooine Whore.

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