Torontoist has a great article about a Weighted Companion Cube showing up on Bloor & Euclid as it pops through from Yonge and Bloor (even with peek-a-boo visual clues where the other half of the cube is located)
AWESOME!
This was a triumph
I’m making a note here
HUGE SUCCESS
It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction
Aperture Science
we do what we must because we can
for the good of all of us except for the ones who are dead
but there’s no sense crying over every mistake
you just keep on trying until you run out of cake
and the science gets done and you make a neat gun
for the people who are still alive
I’m not even angry
I’m being so sincere right now
even though you broke my heart and killed me
and torn into pieces
and threw every piece into a fire
as they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line
and we’re out of beta, we’re releasing on time
so I’m glad I got burned
Think of all the things we learned for the people that are still alive
go ahead and leave me
I think I prefer to stay inside
maybe you’ll find someone else to help you
maybe black mesa
that was a joke, haha, fat chance
anyway this cake is great, it’s so delicious and moist
look at me still talking, when there’s science to do
when I look out there it makes me glad I’m not you
I’ve experiments to run, there is research to be done
on the people who are still alive
and believe me I am still alive
I’m doing science and I’m still alive
I feel FANTASTIC and I’m still alive
While you are dying I’ll be still alive
and when you’re dead I’ll be still alive
STILL ALIVE, still alive
What has become of the Scotiabank Theatres lately? Since they’ve taken over the old “Paramount” theatre, it’s now become the Second Scuzziest theatre downtown (first is the Cumberland 4 where you can get electrocuted by space heaters in the isles). It use to be an “experience” to go to movies there, and I mean that in a good, non-sarcastic way. Now when I go, I steel myself for all sorts of theatre mishaps that can happen.
The big video cube precariously balancing over the corner of John and Richmond has been on the fritz since the hand-over and can barely show the 3 story tall trailers it once broadcasted, not to mention being garishly covered in the eye-bleedingly sharp Scotia red. Lately at least one escalator is off or broken. The theatre use to boast about the incline of the trip up to the lobby but with the “down” escalator constantly in repair, the descent is dizzying. Although energy-consuming, the fancy show lights that project designs in the stairwells and floor haven’t been running, making amature DJs weep as they pass by hundreds of dollars worth of unused lighting equipment. The concession staff are not the most well trained in customer service, which comes as no surprise since they’re now programmed to welcome you to a Scotiabankpropertyandenjoytheshownextplease – it’s not a friggin’ bank! Let the minimum wage staff have some fun! Meanwhile the general manners of movie-goers that frequent the Scotia has dropped to sub-Neanderthal levels. Ironically the last movie I went to there without chatting or cell phone interruptions was Cloverfield. And using the upstairs washroom has become a hazard.
What of the poor Enterprise/Klingon Bird of Prey? They haven’t been dusted in months!
With the bright and shiny AMC* opening at Dundas Square (Digital picture! Free butter flavouring! Better rewards program! Free refills on regular sized snacks! Cheaper Snacks! Comfy seats! Legroom! Better Sound!) I officially put the Scotiabank Theatres on Death Watch.
Or at least I’m not going there for a while…
* A friend of mine tells me that during the AMC’s free movie preview weekend, a verbal fight broke out between rival student factions during The Mist. While all manner of plebeian schleps come out of the woodwork when you mention “free”, I’m convinced (read: hoping) that this kind of behaviour will evaporate.
Los Angeles: The Hollywood Celebrity Hotel was great to look at with it’s art deco themes and was central to West Hollywood (right behind Grauman’s Chinese Theatre) but a bit noisy (the first night we didn’t know our damned window was open beside a patio that was being used at 3am), but it was the largest room we had on the trip. I think it was converted from studio apartments because of the grand walk-in closet to the bathroom and utterly useless “kitchenette” with no room to swing a cat. Still, a great place.
While in LA we walked everywhere. I know that song mentioned by Evil Panda a few posts back – it played like an endless loop in my head while we hiked everywhere (8 days later and the blood blisters are now clearing, thanks). We walked from Grauman’s Chinese Theatre to the Eagle at night, which, at the time, freaked me out a bit. Okay a lot. On our way the neighbourhood went from trendy pocket theatre district to dirty automotive warehouses within a block. Our trek has us pass all manner of dazed humans (mostly dazed to see two white guys walking at night). I began to wonder what the hell we were thinking and started to assess people (read: freak out a bit as a white guy) as we got closer to them. All the while looking for taxis we might unsuccessfully flag down. It took us about an hour to get to the bar and my dogs were barkin’. The next night we did the sensible thing and drove. But we did manage to meet our first Celebrity – “The Prince” (“Of Bel Air?” I wanted to ask). A natural male model and celebrity, with some blue blood in him, cousin to Tom Cruise, who doesn’t answer to any voices in his head or the Media, greeted us while we drank at the Eagle. My trip was complete!
Universal Studios was a bit of a disappointment. I’ve commented before that the “mood” at the Universal Studios in Florida was “bitter” and I’ve decided that the California version is “outright mean”. The studio tour was shorter than usual – no Wisteria Lane, some attractions hopelessly outdated (The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift? Who saw that movie?) and sadly they’re not repairing any damage to weather worn sets (which actually looks good on the Psycho house…) I did get to see some Star Trek Original Series sets which made me happy. About the park itself, I estimate there was a 1 ride for every 10 gift shops yet there were two major rides out of commission which made the place feel like a mall instead of an amusement park. The Spongebob Character actually said “Yeah ok!” to his minder, in stark contrast to the Goofy incident (mentioned prior). The staff made surly comments about their riders and looked tired and bored. Don’t get me started on the Mummy Ride. It reminded me of my loss of virginity: dark, disappointingly sick-making and over in seconds. Unless they get a Shindler’s List ride I doubt that I’ll go back to any Universal park.
The next day, after nearly winning tickets to Wicked (the Pantages theatre holds a draw two hours before the show for the front row at $25/seat – we both won but it was a single seat only), being morbid chaps, we tried to book the Dearly Departed Tour (see where River Phoenix gave his last gasp!) but could not get in touch with the tour guide and wound up on a regular “Tour of the Star’s Homes” with an ex-actor (in LA? Impossible!) who had us laughing the entire time. His ability to drive and throw in off-the-cuff comments about people we passed was sublime. We didn’t get his name unfortunately. SharkBoy managed to pee in the same hotel that was used in Pretty Woman before nearly getting ejected by hotel security. We slummed Rodeo Drive. We saw where Brad Pitt worked in a chicken costume long before he was an actor with a 6 pack. We didn’t see any stars but we did get pelted with hail half way through the tour. Worth it!
Would I go back to Vegas? Not alone, not more than 48 hours. Palm Springs? To relax and rehab and use as a base to drive around in the desert, indefatigably YES. Los Angeles? Without a car? No. With a car? Sure! I loved the energy even though it was laid out like a crappy suburb from Anytown, Ontario.
Anaheim/Disney:
The drive into the valley was barely without incident (I got us lost on one turn – No Amazing Race for me!) and we were at the hotel, unpacked and scooted over to Disney before it opened!
We entered the gate and damned if we didn’t get in exactly when a train pulled into the station, just like my first time in Florida. But stepping onto main street, I was surprised at the smaller size compared to DisneyWorld. Our first ride was The Enchanted Tiki Room (I now love all things Tiki and totem) and the rest of the day went fast. We thought we’d be forever waiting in lines due to Spring Break but we did the park within 13 hours with an average wait for rides around 10-15 minutes. I think we did 99% of all the rides at least once. We even got SharkBoy into an animation class! His Pooh looked a bit squished but very good first try!
We decided to call it a day after the fireworks. The California Tinkerbell-on-a-wire was much more active and animated than Florida’s (she flew around behind the castle) but her harness and wire apparatus was more visible. Back to the hotel and out like a light.
The next day our first ride at California Adventures was the Monsters Inc ride with a personal message at the end of the ride: The whiskey and cigarette voiced dispatch character, Roz, singled us out by yelling “Hey, you two, third row in the back… Are you guys twins?” It made my day. Then I cold-cocked Goofy right in the mouth. Actually in my excitement I rammed my head into his plastic mouth by accident and instantly he went into a whole “ow!” pantomime. The Character Host was instantly beside Goofy, whisper something into his mouth. Goofy responded silently by a small thumbs up. Professional!
We did all the rides (except the spin-on-swings rides in the fairground) and wandered forever through the park. I got a bit barfy after the Mali-Boomer, the one that shoots you straight up and down a couple times. A few moments sitting in A Bugs Life and I was right as rain. Back to the hotel for a sweater and we came back for the Electrical Parade.
I was a bit disappointed with Disneyland only because after experiencing the size and expanse of Disneyworld, it was hard to feel the same grandeur. Also some of the rides at The Land looked like they needed a bit of a brush and polish (see gopher animatronic). But, I never stare a gift Disney in the mouth. I did have fun! Especially when you get behind three Japanese Harajuku girls who love screaming on the log ride.
Our weather threatened to give out as we scanned the news for our arrival into our last destination, West Hollywood…
One woman: I saw your email… where are you going? Somewhere fun?
Departing woman: Oh. An operation. Breast cancer. Sudden gasp from pretty much everyone.
Departing woman: We caught it, it has to be removed (She’s smiling). We stare at the floor, the numbers, anywhere but at her…
Another woman: Will you… do kemo?
Departing woman: Don’t know yet. (Pause) My doctor is hot. Irish, over six foot, beautiful eyes. He had my boob in his hand. We laugh a little nervous. Then a bit harder.
Me: Did you ask him out?
Departing woman: Damn! I will next time. (Another pause) I should put a lipstick kiss on the side of my boob just before the operation.
Me: Better yet, I’ll get you a Sharpie, you should write your number on there.
Departing woman: (Laughs)
Me: Well at least you know he’s got it.
Departing woman: (Laughs harder, while the rest chuckle nervously)
I’m travelling through the human sewers (the Subway) and it’s not entirely busy – the kind of half-busy where there are seats available but nobody wants to scoot inbetween people.
Despite this expanse of space, a woman decided that invading my personal space by standing excruciatingly close to me was the best place to be.
We’re talking close for no reason. Her back grazing my belly at every lurch. The part in her hair (thankfully clean scalp) just inches from my eyes.
This was just 24 hrs from coming back from a nice restful vacation. She was definitely killing my calm buzz.
So I rested my book on her head.
She turned and looked at me like I just materialized from nowhere. And moved.
Palm Springs: I found PS to be very… old, despite knowing that many gay pornos have been filmed there. At least I’ve heard that many have been filmed there… Actually that’s probably why they’re filmed there – lots of venture capital.
Palm Springs use to be the star’s decompression chamber from L.A. Bob Hope, Lucille Ball and Sinatra had houses there, raising the property values greatly and creating some of the best 50’s desert modern architecture (even the slummy part of town was clean). But the average age seemed to be well over 55. The bars weren’t filled with the “best” looking specimens, but to be fair, we were there Monday/Tuesday – slow days. The city seem to close up after 6pm, except for the $25/entree restaurants. I could see how our friend, the Mailman, who has the hots for older bear daddies, was in heaven when ever he visited. Our last night there we met a great couple in the hot tub at our resort and chatted for a couple hours.
We did very little in PS. Sort of like we were decompressing from Vegas. And getting ready for the worrisome drive into Anaheim. I’ve heard stories of gun battles on the freeways of L.A.
Childhood’s End and Rendezvous With Rama were two of my faves from him. The fact that science was his religion yet he was a closet believer in psychokinesis makes me love him all the more.
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
This was a triumph
