From A to B has posted an interesting moment while fiming Decoys 2: Electric Teen Boogaloo. Go read!
Comedy On the Danforth, And Other Bits
My improv instructor, Gord Oxley as well as other intrepid souls, will be braving the savage crowds at Timothys Coffee (by the Carrot Common on the Danforth) Friday night, 9pm. It’s “pay what you can” so that means bring a dollar.
On odd Friday nights (starting this St Paddy’s day) Gord’s troup The Wrecking Crew perform. On evens, its Better Than Nothing (you might recognize Angela as the woman who yells “Arriba!” to the pidgeon in the courier commercials a few months back).
Also, one of the Bad Dog Theatre alumni posted this movie a while back. Jedi Breakfast.Â
Who knew this sort of thing was going on?
Globe Unwittingly Offers Bear Porn, Page 1

Sort of looks like Ray Harley (not work safe! Porn Star! Yer warned!) if he’d let himself go to seed. I know, I know. I should have better tastes because of the obvious white sock/black slip on dress shoe combo but just look at those legs!
The Innocent Eye Test – A 35 Second Review
I’ve asked Shelly to take a break from the reviewing seeing how this is my brother and all.
The Innocent Eye Test was the fart that Healey needed to release. Actually referring to people’s perchance to build up hate, the “fart” monologue turns out to be the most thoughtful and meaningful moment in this farce. Michael needed to get this play out there as he ventures into different writing genres. A typical Healey play is abundant with well written actrobatic comedy and Eye doesn’t dissapoint. However I’ve always equated “farce” with “Blake Edwards” (the later, forced, unfunny Blake) and this “farce” doesn’t dissapoint me in that way either.
Eye has all you’d expect in a farce: entrances, exits, slamming doors and mistaken identities, deftly handled by Christopher Newton (as an emerging actor, Michael sent Mr Newton a series of letters over a period of a year and later adapted it into a novella called “Dear Mr Newton” making Eye a bit of a cyclic moment for Healey). Eye had typical production woes as well, made evident by the loud mouthed patron behind me, eager to explain to whomever what scenes were re-written from the Winnipeg production, including the ending! Well thank you, you schmuck! Why not pull out your cell phone and do a play-by-play while you’re at it. And yeah, I know Kate Lynch too.
Eye pulls from my family life with low level reconnaisance accuracy (without giving away much of the plot): the gay husband on vacation, the Italian setting – a possible reference to my mother, my brother’s facination for the city of Vegas, vast amounts of drinking, and of course, the signature “lead character’s pants off in the saftey of their room” moment. I’m probably reading too much into all that but it’s easy to see where he’s getting his inspriation. Is my family a farce?
Who’s isn’t, when you take parts of it and put it up on stage?
In all, an excellent evening. I did find some of the Canadian vs American dialogue a bit atypical, almost mirrored from any episode of The Rick Mercer Report, but the majority of the play was brilliantly written, if I do say so myself. I have to mention the excellent work on the set design and lighting. In a farce, characters enter and exit with bravado and to have the cast all pour through Mona Lisa’s eye was a stroke of genius.
I give Innocent Eye Test an unbiased 4 out of 5.
Innocent Eye Test Opening Night
Remember kids! Tonight’s the opening night Media night for my brother’s play at the Royal Alex! Make sure you go and have a durned good time! Go help him put his daughter through UofT.
Mervish Home page for The Innocent Eye Test
I’d link to Winnipeg reviews (where it opened) but they’re all paid subscriptions.
New Feature!
I’m beginning to log all my bad Tim Hortons experiences. Therapy? Bitterness? Old Coot-ism? Who can say. It’s certainly a wake up call (and makes for interesting blog content).
Bad Tim Horton’s Service – A Count
Updated November 30, 2006
On this page I plan to prove that every customer service experience I have with Tim Hortons is a bad one. This is in no way an attack on their food or drink, it’s purely my way of showing that Tim Hortons needs to seriously revisit their training procedures before they put people out on the floor.
You may ask yourself “Why go there? Why go back if its so horrible?” I have to say it’s become “personal”. To me, Tim Hortons was the stop before hockey practice (Okay I never played but I was dragged along to many of my brother’s games and to keep me shushed, I was given hot chocolate from Tims), a nice hot drink on a cold Canadian winter day. A slice of Canadiana. I’m watching Tim Hortons mutating into a epsiode of franchised incompetence, and watching as we lose that shared patriotic experience that Canada has so little of.
Read on dear reader as I explain:
My First Encounter: Jarvis and Carlton, September, 2005. Read the whole story here.
$10.50 For a Tea and 5 Donuts: Jarvis and Carlton, March, 2005. Sharkboy orders a large tea and a half dozen donuts, but he wants one large cruller subsituted for one of the 6 donuts. The woman behind the counter rings it in. And rings it in again, and finally thinks $10.50 is a fair price to pay for her stumbling around the menu system of their touch screens. We just buy the tea (it’s been poured already).
Where Did You Put My Lunch? Lawrence and Yonge, March 2006. I order the soup and sandwich combo. After pointing out to the Counter Drone that it says right on the sign that I can have a canned pop instead of a coffee (which she wanted to charge me extra for), she charges me for the items seperately, effectively adding $3 to the final total somehow. That’s corrected and I’m shooed to the side as the Assembler Drones collect my order. Assembler Drone finishes with my order and takes it to the far end of the counter, opposite to where I was told to expect my meal. She leaves it there. When she realizes that there is no happy hungry customer at that end of the couner, she consults the great screen of order knowledge and reads that she’s at the wrong end of the counter. In whisking my tray to where I was, she’s spilled some soup onto my sandwich, now soggy with regret.
I have to pay for free? Lawrence and Yonge, March 2006. I hand the Counter Drone my winning, clean, unrolled rim for a large coffee. She punches it in. I also order a bagel and cream cheese. When I ask why the amount was twice the cost of a bagel and cream cheese, she says that I have to buy a coffee to get the rim game cup. “What? No. I won a free one,” I explain. “You just took it from me and tossed it in that bucket.” Shocked that she could forget that little tidbit of accounting she still wants to charge me the $1.55 more for the tea. “No, I won the tea,” I say. This burns her curcuits and she consults with someone if trade offs are available for tea. Supervisor straightens things out.
Giggles All Around! Lawrence and Yonge, March 2006. I order a soup and sandwich combo. The Counter Drone slowly punches in my order, reasking me all that I have just said seconds ago. Cost on Menu: $8.49. Cost on cash register: $7.29. I look up at the menu. She looks up at the menu. “Problem?” she asks? “Bit of a difference,” I point out. She giggles and takes my money without correction.
The Glare. Lawrence and Yonge, April 2006. Absolutely no problem with the order taking (hint, order the bagel first. If you order the drink, they run off before you finish placing your order). While waiting at the end, a larger Counter Drone comes up to me with a drink in hand. “This yours?” she asks curtly. “I don’t know. What is it?” I say. “A tea,” she says curtly. “I guess so. Earl Grey?” I ask. No response. She is glaring at me. Hard. She puts the tea down, eyes locked with mine. I get the feeling she’s waiting for me to say “thank you” or something. Glaaaaare.
THE COUNT: An ongoing grab bag of errors where I’ve ordered “An extra large earl grey tea, double milk, one teabag, left in, thank you” in a clear concise voice with eye contact, and I have got the following:
Wrong type of tea: 3
Wrong amount of teabags: 10
Wrong cup size: 1
Spiderman, A cowboy and GIANT FRIGGING ROBOT
Apparently, You’re Nude And Very Naughty.
Drawn.ca posts a mind-blowing news piece of an art teacher suspended for recommending life drawing art classes to his more advanced students.
In his discussions with students Mr. Panse mentioned several options for advancing their figure drawing skills; the local community college, a nearby frame shop that sponsors art classes, and the prestigious New York Academy of Art.
I would expect this from an ironic near-naked state like Florida or some freakishly religious midwest state, but no, it’s NY.
Art Renewal Center has an interesting breakdown of the situation:
He is not being accused of recommending that these students attend these classes without parental permission or without proper supervision and chaperones.
snip
Nobody is accusing him of forcing anyone to go to these sessions and indeed, neither the four students who attended the sessions last summer nor their parents have any complaints at all about the experience.
I pity the board that made this decision. It seems like a knee jerk reaction that will result in their faces being covered with egg-shelled gesso.
Cheap Spring Break
I’m on my way to my character voice class seminar (it was ok, heavy on the science and training of the voice, light on the character-making) and I’m on the 506 along Gerrard to Broadview. At Parliament and Gerrard, a boisterous family (I’m assuming – could have been summer camp. Dont know dont care) of 6 get on with a huge pizza box. The car is fairly full so they are forced to scatter themselves over a few seats with two standing. Mom breaks out the pizza and they all start to chow down. Nothing like family dinners around the ol’psycho passenger! I’m sure a few of you out there find eating on public transport vaguely embarassing. Not for this group. They devoured that pizza like a pack of hyenas at an abandoned gazelle carcass.
After leaving the class, I’m on the 504 streetcar, southbound to Gerrard. 6-7 twenty something girls are in the back couple rows passing around a small bottle of water. They’re discussing the best way to make a fruity drink and do you remember when Angela puked and that was funny and she went home with that guy who held her hair and god that was embarassing, and it’s then that the smell of schnapps from the water bottle hits me. I remember my first drink!
TTC! The better way for family/friends to bond!
