Tag Archives: computer

A Device to Enhance Your Testing Experience

Gaming, You Magnificent Bastard Leave a reply

When Portal was released amongst Valve’s “The Orange Box” set, I was utterly shocked that they jammed three games into one disk, for the price of one game… Now it seems they’re going to go a little further with the stand alone PS3 release. Get ready to spooge your geek organ…

Via GayGamer.net:

The PS3 version will also feature Steam cloud support for game saves. This seemed to me like an odd feature at first, until I read one of the other features of the PS3 version: a download code to unlock Portal 2 for Steam play on PC and Mac. Yeah, you get a free PC/Mac copy of the game with a purchase of the PS3 version.

In an age where game developers are nickle and diming you to death, Valve continues to say “Frag you!”. I’m loving how the console wars keep on giving and giving. Seriously if PS3 was alone in the gaming world, you’d be paying big time, like a LucasArts game or something.

I don’t know how they talked Sony into it, but I can’t wait!

Make Your PS3 Work Overtime

Gaming, Tech

Have you hooked up your PS3 to your computer via Windows Media Player and discovered that some (or most) of your videos won’t play? It’s baffling how one AVI will play yet another isn’t recognized due to some encoding used on the video.

I’ll let you in on a secret: From Boing Boing Gadgets I learned of PS3 Media Server, an open source, free, multi-encoding app that will make virtually any video play on the PS3. I swear to god, it was a one click set up from the download (there are minor tweaks you can do when you dive into the FAQ section – me being on a single core processor). I loaded it, it found the PS3, and it meshed without effort. The info page boasts basic XBox360 support too, but I haven’t tried it yet.

So far, the only file format I found it can’t process is a flat DVD ISO file. It doesn’t process larger files smoothly due to my single core processor (it would either make the screen flicker or would stall out the video as it played) but you can adjust the compression to allow for that but don’t expect TV quality video.

You may thank me with kisses.

Best of Clist – Helpful!


Insert RAM jokes here

Naked computer repair / service call by hung man
I offer training sessions were I can teach you how to use certain things on your computer and online from downloading your entertainment to running social pages like MySpace and face book. I can give your computer a tune up so it runs fast again. I check your computer properly for viruses. I can also set up your new computer and transfer over some of the old information you want to keep from your previous system. Well I repair your system I do it in the nude or can dress to your taste. I am a well endowed man. This is a paid computer service call. I am not an escort. I have an average build I am mostly straight but comfortable with my body and I am willing to fix any ones computer in the nude. I travel to you and I can arrange evening appointments to fit your scedual. So why not treat yourself and get more out of your repair mail me for pics and any questions.

My own Korova Milk Bar Fixture

I Can Be Adjusted
Are you a white male that loves to watch TV and have a human footstool under your feet? If you are straight that is fine. If you do not want to have sex that is fine as well. I can be naked or wear clothes. Do you have a buddy and want to play cards together? I can lay on the ground and the both of you can put your feet on me. I will massage them and pamper them. Why rest them on the floor when you can rest them on a live carpet? If you are gay then even better. You can read a book while you ignore me under your feet or do work on your computer while I lay on the floor.
If you want you can watch porn & I will give you the best blow job ever. You do not need to suck me.

Catastrophic FAIL

Personal Bits

Last night I sat down to my computer and noticed an odd message, saying that one of the “files on the disk” failed to initialize, resulting in my Taskbar changing itself to look like Windows NT.

Uh. Oh.


After a very long time past the BIOS screen, nothing. No log in, nothing.

Restart. Oh god please restart.

Nothing. Dead black screen.

Thankfully I have all my files on a completely separate storage drive. But it looks like a night of disk-humping reloading, rebooting and calling Windows Support to obtain my serial number again. Who’s up for a call to India? Then after that, drivers, applications and preferences. Finally, all my email is gone (take note friends/family!) and I’m hobbling along on web-based interfaces.

If any of you people wish to donate to my “Get an iMac Fund” my Paypal account will be available at the bottom of your screens. Call now!

I don’t know if I got a virus or something from all those old iPhone hack programs were to blame. I do know that if I can’t get it started/fixed, then this will be the most expensive summer I’ve had in a long time.

But, still no ads on Dead Robot Heavy Industries, my readers!

In some sort of bizzaro world, I wonder if the Large Hadron Collider had anything to do with this? I’m actually one of the “push the goddamned button and let’s see what this baby can do!” kind of people. The web is ablaze with speculation today and all they did was turn the thing on. The actual collisions will be happening later in the year. Doesn’t this whole uproar/hype/geek celebrity suddenly feel like the last 20 minutes of Contact?.

End of an Era

Personal Bits, Tech

…I’m speaking to a Mr Robot?

I’m back from the store. My roommates gather around as I reveal with a flourish: the four head VCR. It cost me close to $500 on special at Sears. Cheers and back slapping ensue for a solid minute. Quickly we hook it up to the TV and settle in for a marathon of movies.

Yes. Can you tell me that figure again?

I’m waiting in line at the College. I see a girl run out of the registrar’s office in tears. I’m worried that that will be me in a few minutes. After supplies and rent and a decent week’s worth of food, I’ve got enough to play a fist full of video games in the common area.

Certainly. After the three payments of $535, $410 and $437 made in the month of May…

I’m staring at my first computer in the dark cave of my living room. I’ve made my first piece of digital art on the tiny 15″ screen: a combination of a picture of myself that I’ve applied a Peter Max type filter and some warped text over my head. I found it easy to do.

…I guess you did your taxes in one go for three years, Mr Robot?

My first web page I did as a joke (much like all my web interactions). It was a hommage to Jon Erik Hexum: All the images I could find combined with a sad midi file; uncontrollably embedded into the page; animated GIFs of torches bookended a 20 second poem I had written. My teacher laughed at the tackiness of it, saying I “grokked” the Web. But he didn’t understand why Jon Erik.

Yes. I did. Which leaves me with…?

I’m standing in the student book shop, wondering if instead of paying the $10 for another pad of newsprint for life drawing class, I could flip all my drawings from the last month over and use the back, meanwhile I could eat cheap pork chops and still have enough to go to Katrinas and have at least two drinks with my friends (who all have paying jobs) this weekend.

Well it looks like we’re showing a balance of $411.05. I guess you’ll be paying this off within 30 days? Just add $3 for the interest.

And with that, the albatross that has been around my neck for the last 20 years flies away.

I have paid off my student loan.

Not My Grandfather’s Son

Personal Bits

Pi ApartmentMy Da called the other day to announce a friend of his was getting rid of his G5 Mac Tower, would I be interested?

Deep inside me, somewhere near the core of my soul, right next to revulsions and unexplainable desire, a strand of my persona twanged as if a horny romantic lute player strummed his instrument to get poon. Computer parts for sale? Oh? Must. Get.

I’m no collector of electronics but I know someone who has an actual server in his living room… and I am so jealous. I could easily turn my office into that apartment from the movie Pi. Untethered, I definitely would have one machine for fun, a machine for storage, a machine for music, a machine for gaming, a machine for graphics and a machine to look at porn. I keep my addiction in check, thankfully, otherwise I doubt I would be married right now.

My Da snaps me back to reality: “Are you interested?” The computer is about 2 years old. No mention of monitor or keyboard or hard drive size or RAM. Or price for that matter. The lute player strums harder. Hell yeah, I’m interested!

Hell ya! But then suddenly I remember my grandfather. When he left this mortal coil, the family was charged with emptying out his 4 car garage, which was full to the rafters not with cars (I think there was only two cars in it), but with …stuff. Grandfather was an A-List pack rat and had no control over his hoarding. No one to say “Put that back!” Sure Grandmother would say the odd remark about the garage, but she really had no dominance over his addiction. The family decided to have a huge garage sale on the front lawn of the house and in the process of bringing stuff out, they found 14 gas powered lawn mowers. Fourteen. One Four. Da said that maybe two worked. Tops. I was living in England at the time and I saw pictures of the hoard – quality stuff like an intact moose head, barely moth eaten and a top had that would have made Taco cry. In addition to the vault of stuff, they found that grandfather had opened up several bank accounts just to get the free toasters/kettles/appliances. Not to sure how many accounts he had in the Greater Toronto, but there were many appliances. And most were in the garage.

Was I interested? Hell.. yeah?

My thoughts go to my Da himself. A while back he had so much artwork on his walls his condo rivaled The Louvre. In his retired travels he dragged art back from Mexico, China and other parts of the world. He’s since reformed but he does have one piece of art hanging beneath a window sill. Yes, beneath, below the line of sight just because, well… there was a big blank wall spot, I guess. I often wonder if there is another apartment in his name in the city somewhere, full of Dawn Snells, David Hockey prints and Toller Cranston limited editions, to be discovered posthumously, via an unmarked key left in a shoe box under his bed. Currently, he volunteers at the Gardiner Museum of Ceramics’ gift shop and slowly, slowly, his condo is filling up with bowls, cups, nick-nacks and most recently, a $2500 statue that was busted in storage and given to him by the manager. I can hear the ghost of his father coo into his ear: “‘It is still gooooood! Glue the haaaaand back on!”

Then I think of the storage locker I have down the street. Five 60L Rubbermaid containers that hold 30 or so pieces of mouth blown glass. One 90L Rubbermaid that holds approximately $1000 in robot toys. A milk crate of British import records.

“Uh. No thanks,” I conceded. The horny lute player cries.