Category Archives: Tech

Moment Ruined

Tech

Starbucks at lunch, and a woman holding the frail arm of her ancient father, shuffles in and sits him down at a table near by me. She loudly promises to come back after getting his tea and instructs him to sit tight. He’s old. His mouth is open and he’s got that 1000 mile stare going on. He barely moves while she’s gone.

When she returns she coos and fusses over his tea and makes sure he can see that the Barista has put ice in his drink so it’s not too hot. Shakily he sips from the cup and as he’s drinking, she takes out her laptop and fires it up.

“Nice,” he croaks, when the serene Windows meadow desktop image comes up. I’m getting somewhat choked up at this point. He doesn’t seem at all ‘with us’ and I feel a bit for the woman. “Yes, pretty!” she says brightly.

A few clicks and she’s logged onto the internet and has opened up Skype. She’s attached a webcam on the top of the screen and she’s dialing someone. “We’re calling Sara! Right here!” she excitedly tells her father. At this point I’m making assumptions, the woman looks to be in her late 50s, and the ‘father’ is older than god himself. I’m assuming Sara is her daughter.

She full-screens Skype when Sara answers. She’s holding a child! Lord help me, I’m in the middle of an AT&T ad. My throat tightens. I know what is coming…

“LOOK!” The woman points at the screen, “Your great grand daughter!” All of their voices are raised in happiness, the woman and Sara gawk at each other and wave. I’m reveling in technology and how, when it works, can make heartwarming moments like this happen.

“Huenghh!” says the man.

“Hi Mom! Hi Grandpa!” Sara says, tinnily through the laptop speakers, hoisting the child higher, “Can you see her!”

“Muh! Muh!” says Grandpa.

At this point I’m holding back tears. The old guy’s face is more animated than ever.

“How are you doing, Sara?” the woman asks.

“Oh he’s pooped everywhere! I mean over the blankets, the change table, everywhere.”

The tears in my eyes abruptly stop.

As I’m leaving, the last thing I hear from the woman is her scolding her dad: “You can say something, you know. They can see AND hear you.”

Chat Like You Were Actually There

Tech

Do you shun video chat because of… well… (whispers) low self esteem issues? Do you use an old photo of yourself from 15 years back, where you’re 20lbs lighter and have all your hair, for your online profiles?

Fear not! The Japanese have come to your rescue!

I love the herky jerky motion of THE HEAD. But damn if that’s not as creepy as the robot kid. Which makes me wonder the same question: Why bother? Are there moments where live video chat is too dangerous for us to do it in real time? The copyright implications are staggering. Imagine seeing yourself on TV uttering terrorist threats while you’re comfortably sitting on your couch eating cheesies.

Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy

Celebs and Media, Distractions, Hobbies, Robots, Tech, Toronto

What a day! I love this convention when it comes to town. It’s like straight-boy Halloween. I love seeing the fan built costumes lovingly recreated just for this day (I talked to an orange and white Clone Trooper who’s outfit was so detailed, it could have been used in any of the first three Star Wars movies. Okay, he was 6″ shorter than me, but hey…).

Fluffy heads
Alarming amount of Furries, fluffies and other sexual deviants. From iPhone to Flickr pics here

Hell I love the ones that just make you say “Uh. Ok. WTF?” Like the Brazilian-waxed girl dressed as Ivy (Batman villain) who really should have been called Cottage Cheese Thighs Girl. Or the poor kid in line ahead of us, wearing…I have no fucking clue… that would manouver himself towards anyone who had a decent camera. In the future, we shall all have 15 frames of fame.

Swag got: My Halloween costume (no hints, SharkBoy!), a gay GI Joe t-shirt, a cool Rock Em Sock Em Robots shirt and this delicious video below:

iQuagmire

iPhone, Tech

I’ve been surfing a lot of the iPhone forums these days, reading so much cell hacking technology technobabble that would make a Japanese School Girl drop her cell and take up snail mail communication.

Trying to stay focused, I’ve been looking at articles pertaining to the iPhone and Canada. Getting past the “It will happen in September/October/Spring2008” fatboy shoutings*, here’s what I’ve found:

Not gonna happen any time soon.

That’s the readers digest version. The long form is that to get the iPhone into Canada, Rogers will have to relinquish some of it’s profit margin to accommodate the cost of data transfers. Currently Rogers is one of the highest charging telcos in the free world. To accept the iPhone/Apple into Canada without adjusting their rates would make a monthly bill somewhere in the vicinity of …oh… $500. Of course I’m pulling that number out of my butt, but it’s not too far off considering Rogers does not have an unlimited data transfer option. A couple YouTube videos and you’ve probably exceeded your monthly limit no matter what plan you choose. I can’t imagine Rogers adjusting it’s charges to established Blackberry/Treo/etc customers for this new product that would only pull in a small percentage of the market. Why would they do that? It would be like asking Perez Hilton to stop talking about Lindsay Lohan for only an eighth of a day. But Rogers has a history of not really listening to customers when they complain.

iPhone CanadaMeanwhile, as that is being debated in the boardrooms at One Mount Pleasant Drive (Is it even an issue? Are they actually discussing this?) Apple needs to clear up that whole Comwave “We have the iPhone!” issue. I bet the dollar-eyed execs at Comwave are sitting ’round their receptionist’s desk jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas morning, every time the phone rings:

Riiiing.

“Is that Steve Jobs calling? Is he willing to buy the name from us?”

“No, it’s the landlord. The rent cheque bounced again.”

I’m keeping dim hope. Meanwhile, isn’t there some sort of monopoly law in Canada similar to the one that killed big Bell in the 70s? Would this not pertain to the GMS service Rogers has? To quote someone on one of the forums: I’d love to see Virgin swoop in and steal this opportunity from Rogers.

Amen, Richard.

*This post over at Hackintosh made me laugh. I think it was written by the same guy who sent me my online inquiry response. Note the spelling:

I am a Rogers employee and there has been no word as of yet on the realse of the iPhone with Rogers. Stay tuned for future information.

Where Were You Three Years Ago?

Tech

I love/hate Google. I’ve just noticed that they’ve added a “Web History” link to my personalized page. For shitzngiggles, I clicked on it and found they’ve been keeping track of me since 2005. According to Google, I searched for the following on August 8th. 2005:

Aug 8, 2005
11:27pm Searched for condoliza rice

10:50pm Searched for how do I change nameservers – Viewed 2 results

10:49pm Searched for how do I change a DNS server – Viewed 1 result

8:02pm Searched for campsite gay – Viewed 1 result

8:00pm Searched for get to the point campsite gay – Viewed 1 result

7:56pm Searched for barnyard nick – Viewed 1 result

Warchalking Avec iPhone

Distractions, Hobbies, Tech, Toronto

I’m starting a new list over on the side bar. Something less ‘bitter’ than the Tim Horton’s page.

I’ve decided to start logging interesting router names around town, a practice called Warchalking in hackerspeak. I got hooked on what people call (and broadcast) their router names when I found “Inyerbum” while walking the perimeter of the gay village.

Go and look. I 100% promise that all these names are for real. I’ll let you know when I update the page.

Enjoy!

(inyerbum!)

Talkin’ to Ted

iPhone, Tech

An email I sent on Tuesday to Rogers Wireless via their site:

Hello there!

I recently got an iPhone for my birthday and I have researched online that Rogers will be the only network in Canada that can provide service for this fantastic new device. Most news items are rumours and conjecture but for now, I’m waiting patiently for your press release.

However, a friend of mine suggested I contact you regarding being a “test subject” for you when you do start setting up the network. Is this feasible?

Thanks for your time.

Ted

My automated response (sic):

Thank you for taking the time to write to us, we appreciate your use of online customer service.

In your recent email, you have informed us that you have received a Apple IPhone and are willing to try it on the
test network. What is recommd that you do is contact our regional office headquaters to see if they can give you any further information in this situation. Unfortunately right now there is know knowledge to us of this test network so contacting this office is recommded.

Rogers Wireless Regional Office
TORONTO CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS / OMP
One Mount Pleasant Road
Toronto, Ontario
M4Y 2Y5 (416) 935-1100

We are pleased to have been able to address your inquiry. For additional information please visit our website at www.rogers.com. You are a valued customer and we thank you for your business.

I pick up the phone and dial. I get a human right off the bat, making me stammer and not explain myself very well. After a few moments of banter, I get “Bruce”. He tells me (and I’m paraphrasing here) that Rogers and Apple have not come to any agreement at this time.

Will they soon?

“We have no information regarding that,” Bruce deadpans.

He suggests that I try “unlocking” the phone. “Fido?” I ask.

No comment. He doesn’t offer any assistance in that department. No surprise.

So I sit and wait.